If you read this post you will have spent 15-17 minutes of the 1440 minutes in the day on my thoughts on Inner Good Friday. Now add to that the time you spend on your thoughts on both the originating Good Friday and your own Inner Crucifixion. How many minutes might that total? And what do you get for spending that much time? Do you find more peace? More doubt? More self-compassion? More understanding?
Compare your sense of how much time you can attend to awakening your feeling of Inner Crucifixion to the amount of time Jesus Christ hung dying on the cross?
I don’t know about you but I haven’t the meditative endurance to spend three hours on establishing a new relationship to Good Friday. I could spend three hours reading the New Testament or the books of Rudolf Steiner or other spiritual thinkers and mystics. I could recite prayers and verses for three hours. But I don’t know that I could sit or walk and engage my own heartfelt thoughts about my own inner life in right relationship to the Crucifixion. I am not that developed.
However, I am striving. I will attend to this inner challenge. I won’t last three hours, but I will give my heart to the seeking of a mere moment of meaning. And I know moments of meaning, of grace, take us into timelessness, into the spiritual reality of eternity.
I do hope this note helps you find a moment of eternity on this Good Friday.
Now let go the imaginations of your Inner Last Supper. Let a blessed emptiness enter your soul. (If you don’t know how to do this, just breathe, just blink. In each full breath and each quick blink, we experience a moment of blessed emptiness.)
It is time to bring your consciousness to Inner Crucifixion. Not easy. As you listen to the audio you can hear in my pauses and dropped thoughts, my own difficulty with the imagination of the Crucifixion. But you can also hear after a few shaky minutes, the awakening – my voice and my breathing become smooth and my words start to flow. Something living has entered my consciousness because I held myself fast with courage and devotion.
Trust your courage and your devotion as you follow your path of self-knowledge and inner development. Stay a few minutes with this attention to the Inner Crucifixion despite your doubts and hesitations – something will flow. It might be a question, an image, a feeling – an Inner Easter germinating in your soul.
I thank you for experiencing Inner Easter with me. Tomorrow we descend into Hell.